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09 August 2007

Two weeks of "recovery"

So today marks the two-week anniversary of being plowed over by a truck. I say that because, we didn't wreck our bikes or were involved in an "accident." We were taken out by a truck which to this moment makes me still wonder how I am still here today because you don't get hit by a truck at 40-50mph and live to tell about it, let alone write a blog about it. I was definitely being watched over by something higher. They always say things happen for a reason. Its difficult to understand why Diana and I were struck by this tragedy, however, its the difficult moments that define one's life. Now, I consider myself just an average bloke who for some odd reason just loves riding my bike, but the entire experience has altered my outlook on life and made me realize how quickly things can change. Since I have returned to my parents house, I have run into so many people who have heard my story and have sent their condolences. Many of these people I have not seen in years or do not know at all. All the thoughts and prayers from everyone have really aided in the recovery.

Now, I am a pretty stubborn person. I probably push myself and deny pain longer than I should but its just difficult for me to accept that i am injured. On Tuesday this week, I ran errands with my mom and sister. I was on my feet for a couple of hours but managed to do the majority of the walking around without the crutch. Although, i was a very slow walker, which might be a welcome change for some who have walked with me b/c I typically walk fast b/c of my long stride, I felt so proud of leaving the crutch. I definitely paid for my adventure yesterday with a very sore pelvis that really limited my mobility. Today is much better. I think I am going to trade the crutch in for a cane. Should make me look a little more GQ. I have been experiencing a lot of numbness in my right arm from the crutch which is not good when that is your good arm.

Part of me is still in deep denial of the entire event. I never considered myself someone that has experienced any traumatic injury but when I look at it from the outside, it was incredibly traumatic. I was hit by a truck, knocked unconscious, and flown to a hospital by helicopter for 6 days and left with 7 fractures including a broken vertebrae in my neck. It would be easy to ride the dependency train, but I dont' consider my injuries serious. Again, my denial checking in. But when i look at the problems faced by other people or the stuff I saw at the hospital, you realize that there is always someone worse off than you. I think if all the complainers in the world would take a minute and realize what they have and realize that there is someone else in worse shape, we, as humans, could heal and make the world a better place. The everyday issues we all face are so insignificant that our narrow-mindedness gets in the way of the true problems facing us. Two days ago, the Fed left the interest rates set at 5.25%. Now, who does that really affect? Yet, the news analysis plasters the print and airwaves. I am on a little soapbox now, but my experience has really opened up a whole new view of life for me so if you are getting exhausted stop reading but I would suggest you not =)

The mining accident in Utah is a major tragedy but if you have followed any of the verbiage from the company CEO you have to be totally exhausted with his words. Instead of talking about how hard they are working to save those minor's lives and how their company will stand by those families, the guy goes into discussing how important coal is for the American economy. I have never seen a person dig themselves so deep and continue to dig a hole of shame without anyone stepping forward to stop him. Now, we all say stuff we dont' always mean when under stress but stressing the importance of the economy over the lives of the minors is so far off base and ridiculous, i would be looking as a worker or shareholder of the company to fire the entire executive committee and put into place a group of individuals who value human life over satisfying some financial bottom line.

Okay, so enough side-commentary from me. But this is my blog and I can write what I want =)

Good news out of New York, Diana returned home on Tuesday. She is recovering at home. She is facing the same problems I did of getting in and out of bed and just getting around but I am so proud of her accomplishments. I know she will continue to improve and gain strength over the coming weeks. A month ago, we were racing in the French Alps on bikes, now we are both hobbling around the house. So quickly things can change, but I said earlier, its the difficult times that define one's life. So I expect us both to make full recoveries and hopefully we provide inspiration to others or do something that brings a positive out of this experience.

The more time that has gone by, I realize this is my 2nd chance, a clean slate if you will. I so dearly want to get back on the bike but I know I have to wait. My motivation is so high right now to see what I can accomplish on the bike. I'm already preparing myself for the hardest fall and winter training I have ever experienced. Fortunately, I enjoy the training, often even more than the actual competition. The biggest competition we face is always with ourselves, which I think attracts me to cycling more than any other sport. I have experienced moments have pure exhaustion and humiliation as well as moments of great performance. All are remembered and enjoyed because mistakes I think are the best education. Case in point, Cascade Classic Stage 4. Never have I in my riding did I ride so poorly. But after I got over the fact on the first lap that it just wasn't my day, I rode the rest of the 48mi with more enthusiasm and pride than in some of my best races. A watershed moment in my cycling career, to steal a word from an old econ professor of mine.

Being off the bike also has made me think about what i can do thats more than just pedalling yet still impact cycling. Now, the idea is still very high level, but I want to use my experience and put it to good use by starting some non-profit, trust, etc that emphasizes co-existence on the streets with autos and bikes. The primary focus would be helping cyclists who are injured and need financial and legal assistance, or just simply a venue for people to discuss their accident or experience with others. Now this seems very benevolent or utopian, but I think it would be valuable. I always wonder how these orgs start out but its just people who have an experience and want to help others. I don't expect to change the world, but if I can help one person get the care they need after a cycling accident then i think thats an accomplishment. Of course this gets me thinking really big, b/c its either go big or go home. So I would have this non-profit and have affiliations with cycling advocacy groups and host rides and events to raise money and more importantly awareness of this great sport. I never thought the places cycling would take me, but in my short time as a "cyclist" I have been all over the country and outside the country. As Einstein described it, the bicycle is the greatest invention.

I know I will have plenty of time over the coming months and years to work on my idea but I want everyone who reads this to think be aware of it, but I hope that I will find the continued support from each of you.

So go open that garage, dust off that frame, pump those tires, and go for a bike ride. Whether its around the block or around a country, it will surprise you at the pleasure you receive from such a simple activity. And if you don't enjoy it, just go riding b/c I can't! for atleast another 3 weeks =)

Cheers,
Matthew

3 comments:

pjh81 said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
pjh81 said...

Just reading your latest posts ... was your bike ok?

Joey

Matthew Barrowclough said...

Well, the first looks on the bike which was in the hotel in Westchester county are that only my shifter were bent in. I didn't get a real opportunity to check out the frame or try to shifting. Its still packed up in the bike bag in TN at my parent's crib. I can't really do much to it at the moment b/c its a piece of evidence. Hopefully there is no frame damage which is my biggest concern right now. Diana's bike was completely destroyed.